And I’m still on it.
It has been nearly a month since I arrived at this coastal city, Le Havre. It has been a whole new world for me. Being an easily amused person, Im constantly awed by everything around me. And I must say, little by little, I’m falling in love with this ancient petit town. Oui, je suis tombee amoureux avec mon Havre.
Despite the gloomy freaking cold weather with skin-cutting wind, the unsightly constructions for a new tramway, the countless disgusting dogs’ poops on the streets, I feel blessed that I have chosen to come to this city, to SciencesPo Europe Asia campus for many reasons. Firstly probably because of my batchmates. They are not exactly friendly and to be honest, I’m still having difficulty starting a conversations with some of them but they really impress me with their amount of knowledge (not mentioned that most of them are at least trilingual, some can work with five) and their confidence. Some of them are like the young versions of Margaret Thatcher or George Bush and I wont be surprised if ten years later I see them campaigning for a seat in the Parliament. Oh and yes, why do they just have to look stunning everyday (even in the most simple monocolor outfits! which makes my effort to dress decently fail terribly) I have been making friends with a few people too, like Anne-Laure the soft-spoken quiet French girl who bakes most tasty pizza, like Lilia who has a keen interest in pronouncing my name ( and by that I mean she keeps calling me Huong in a really scary voice), like Typhaine the bubbly half French half Chinese girl, like Yuka the typically sweet and kawai Japanese , like Phuc Chau who cannot speak any vietnamese except for her name, like Andre a really kind, considerate French guy, like Corentin, like Louise, like Andrea, like Alexis, like Taku… Well, it’s just the beginning of everythings and I really hope that I can continue and grow deeper friendships with these people. Though a part of me finds it slightly unconvincing and insecure.
Maybe it’s just me being paranoid but sometimes I do feel lonely and sad here (though my loved ones keep telling me that I’m cared about). My school workload is not that heavy and my schedule is incredibly slacking compared to others ( 6 hours on Mon, 6 on Tue, 4 on Wed, 0 on Thurs and 8 on Fri. Only 24 hours/week!). Though I constantly feel lost in seminars and lectures, I believe that I can grasp the theories better with more reading ( which Im kinda lazy to do everyday). I also have fun with ppl in school and we have potluck dinner almost everynight with pearls of laughter, with wine and cheese until like 11-12pm. But part of me still feels that there’s something missing. I’m the kind of person who can’t stand uncertainties and shallow-ness and I always yearn for something deep, something that would stay by my side. Yet I haven’t found such a thing here. I keep telling myself, comm’on you have just come here, how could you ask for something like that? Well, maybe i”m just being a typical Pisces who has a despicably high tendency to sadden herself with unfathomable messy thoughts.
But anyway, apart from that I still feel graceful waking up everyday knowing that I’m having a good education in a beautiful country, that my sister is here with me, that my Nhai still lays his heart on me, that my besties in Singapore and Vietnam still keep in touch with me, that my parents are still doing fine, that amazing croissant aux amandes, pains au chocolat are still waiting to be my lunch, that I’m still surrounded by hypnotizing French voices, that my friends are still bisous (kiss on both cheeks) me. So many reasons to feel lucky enough to keep a smile on my chubb(ier) face.
Well let me be back to mes devoirs de francais. It’s all because of little evil La To whose entry made me cry like mad (but im alone now, no one can see so I dont care) and emotional enough to type this entry (just to realize how rusty my english is and yup I’m doing humanities with Political Sciences, Sociology, Microecons, Politics Sociology of South Asia, Literary Humanities and Quantitative Methods which is simply Maths. I should switch my “Freaking Out” mode on with piles of readings untouched and oral presentations unprepared)
A bientot, mes proches.
Gros bisous 🙂